Shiva call

I can do this

people I did not even know did this for me, in my house

because

it is the right thing to do.

I needed those people I knew, I loved, I didn’t know

in my house, post plaster mess,  first floor undone

I needed

all of you.

 

one year and a half

out of the woods

I think

I can go.

clean and fresh

baguette and borscht

in hand.

 

I say the prayers

see your house as if you just left

to grocery shop

or visit a friend.

Sheet music tilted over

because you were

going to

come back.

 

You left a daughter

a son

everyone

eyes wide.

 

I wasn’t ready

and now I understand

I will stand by others

bring them food

hold their hand

and cry as if the earth has broken underneath my bones

tears so hot, so heavy –

 

I look down at my feet, no red glitter

no sparkled toes –

There is no place like home

I miss you

both of you.

It just is

what it is.